I have had some very honest, real, and raw conversations with a couple of my friends recently. The topic of conversation was why we date people we are really not that in to and the vicious cycle that continues from doing so. My dear friend, motivational speaker and best-selling author Baylor Barbee said it best, “being with the wrong person is like being hungry and continuing to eat, but you never get full.”
To me, everything in life is a relationship and I took my thoughts and ideas on this topic and started thinking about how it equates to everything else we do; our careers, our health and fitness, our New Year's resolutions, etc. I think at the end of the day, it all comes down to living in fear instead of living in faith.
Choosing the simpler, easier way is always less risky. Let's think about this in terms of dating, which we all can relate to. Dating a person who is easier to get lowers our chance for rejection. Nobody wants to be rejected. Putting yourself out there and opening up your heart to be with the person you really want can cause a lot of pain and heartache if they reject you. In an effort to keep that from happening, we try to run away from and avoid our own feelings, dating the wrong people, one after the other, after the other. The constant hunger for that one special person, never goes away, no matter how many people we date and distract ourselves with.
Put that scenario in place with a career; this is exactly what happened to me, and I know I am not alone in this. I have had many people tell me over the years of working on Brick Betty that they “do not understand how I can live the way I do. It is much easier to take a job and get a paycheck every 2 weeks.” You know what, they are absolutely right! My life would be so much easier if I did that. But for me, the easy way does not fulfill me...I would constantly be eating and never getting full. I can not live that way, everything I do, I have to be passionate about or I get bored, lose interest and walk away.
I lived that “easy way do it for the paycheck” life back in my 20s. I had a job as a school teacher that I liked, but I knew it was never going to be long term because deep down in my heart there was a desire for something more that God was calling me to do. I still remember calling my mom before work one day at 530am; I was sitting on the floor in my hallway and all I could do was cry and tell her how miserable I was in my life and I just didn't think I could continue on in that situation for one more day. I felt like I was dying a slow, empty, painful death. It was a horrible unfulfilling relationship that I could not get out of and all because I was afraid to. Then, something changed, and that something was me.
The last six years since I left the "job with the paycheck" have not been easy; the struggles of starting a business go much deeper than anything most people see or hear about. It is constant rejection, disappointment, heartache, failure, day after day after day. I remember a friend asking me to join a group for dinner, and I had to turn down the invitation because I had .28 cents, yes, 28, cents in my bank account. Oddly enough, through all of that, I go to bed every night happy and fulfilled. Why? Because my God is bigger than my fears and he will feed that hunger and fill me up if I do what he has put in my heart and called me to do.
If you took away the fear of rejection, disappointment, heartache and failure of what you feel in your heart you need to do, want to do, or are called to do, how would your life change?
I truly believe we can not even fathom how great God intended us to be and he calls us to trust him and do everything with faith, not with fear.